There’s one guilt-inducing notification I’ve always hated to receive. It’d tell me my phone usage was going up and up. I’d swipe the message away, embarrassed, thinking that Apple must be maybe miscounting time. Since I’m on my computer much of my day, even 4 and a half hours on my cell is a lot. I never wanted to admit that I tend to get stuck. I get lost in some virtual, irrelevant world.
I don’t have a phone now. It disappeared 2 weeks ago and the world has become so interesting again. The sky is more blue than the last time I looked up, the grass is softer to walk on. I’m in New York and the conversations seem louder; I can’t stop listening. I’m not glued to my screen and I’m finally watching real life again.
The first night I flew in, I went to Times Square. I don’t believe it myself but I’ve never watched the ads playing there. I’ve taken pictures and videos and probably posted on my Instagram, but I’ve never really looked at what the screens themselves shared. 2 men walked by, heated, in discussion. I only caught a snippet and it sent my mind on an adventure ride. “When you’ve got 10 or 15 million dollars in the bank, you can’t complain about life.” one of them said to his friend. It was so casual, so regular, I wondered how I’d act with that amount of money as mine.
It’s my boyfriend’s first time in America. He’s never seen any squirrels. We went to Central Park to find some and bought some nuts to lure them in. If it were 2 weeks ago, I’d be Googling the likelihood of rabies or diseases from feeding them. I couldn’t so I followed his lead. He made clicking noises with his mouth, got really low, and held out his hand. A couple of squirrels crept up and grabbed a nut from his fingers- and then they ate from mine too. I grew up with squirrels around me and had never been so close. Maybe it could have been dangerous but it wasn’t. Sometimes it’s good to not know what might be.
Today, I walked into Dunkin’ and 3 cops were hanging there. As I waited for my order I couldn’t scroll on Twitter- and I overheard the most cliche conversation. “I ate 4 donuts yesterday”, one of them bragged. “How many have you had?” Nothing could have welcomed me back to America better.
I do miss the ease of a phone in my hand. It’s convenient - great things happen with access to internet. I had to wait until late when I wanted to write this; I’m not used to carrying a pen and paper anymore. I can’t read on the go or call Ubers easily. And I’ll start missing my sisters soon when I can’t chat quickly with them. But there’s a part of me that never wants to be bound by a phone again. I’ll probably need to get one; so much of my lifestyle depends on having a phone. Until then, I hope to savor every moment of reality I have.
It may seem funny to say it, but it requires a great deal of heroism to leave the phone beyond even for one day. Thank you for sharing your experience Yehudis, I will try your experience one day, walking the streets of Tirana, Albania without my phone.
I completely get what you mean. I've had my phone in silent for years, and always force myself to not pull it out as soon as there's an idle moment (succeeding around 50% of the time haha). You're having a good forced training, when you get a phone back, hope at least some part of it survives :)