A Brief History of My Future
I started my life with two dreams. I hope to die with at least two hundred more.
When I was little, I wanted to be a mother. I would drag my mama’s skirts up my waist, wrap her scarves around my head and stick pillows over my belly. I would squint at my reflection in the chipping gold mirror, trying to imagine myself with an older “mama” face. I wanted a husband and babies and those were my only two dreams in life.
That changed right after my 11th birthday. I was pulled out of school and dropped into an unconventional classroom. Instead of being a student, I would become a teacher. I’d wake up, pray, head to the basement, and start my work day. I was supposed to teach my siblings, but I’d spend a lot of time bored, doing nothing. After “homeschool’, I’d make dinner, play with my siblings, and put them to sleep at night. In those long hours, a new dream trickled in.
I wanted to open a giant fun center with every imaginable extracurricular activity for kids. There would be pottery classes, musical instruments, a barn and the biggest playground. The landscape around us would be a call for adventure. I never decided whether I wanted a beach or forest nearby, but it had to be beautiful. My new dream became giving kids a safe place to be kids.
I moved out of the house. I considered opening the organization but it was too much. I didn’t know where to start. Instead, I did what I knew and became a teacher. That was a fun period. I spent a lot of time reasoning with 4 - 9 years olds. I learned that kids are mini adults. If you talk to them with logic there’s a 90% chance they’ll respond with the same. (Unless they’re tired or hungry or have just pooped their pants.) I was a good teacher. I have a shoe box of thank you notes from my students’ parents. Then it got boring. It got harder. I started losing patience. The constant drain of energy got to me. I wanted to do something I wasn’t raised to do. It was time to find a new dream.
I saw a job post that looked interesting. It was an assistant position for an influencer I loved. I applied with a Buzzfeed post in lieu of a resume. It was the best way to prove myself with no experience. The media company he was working with saw my application and offered me a job. So I became a marketer.
I Googled everything I needed to know. I opened Facebook groups and learned complicated ad strategies. I took a crash course on coding and threw myself into becoming good. The company I worked for was an agency for the food industry. All of my supermarkets carried the best marinara sauce, the most succulent fruits, and homemade breads. They all had the best deals and loved their customers more than their competitors. I loved it, but when I thought about it, my clients felt the same. This realization grew and work stopped being interesting. At 23, it was time to do something new.
I opened a marketing agency for nonprofits. It was the perfect solution. I could use my skills to do something meaningful; and not get bored! For 2 years, I pulled 16 hour days building a business I thought would fulfill me. Nonprofits were a struggle to tackle (their marketing budgets often hover close to zero) so I took other clients in between. A dentist, a lice checker, and for a short stint, a garbage can cleaning company. I was doing less impactful work and more work to pay bills. After crossing my first 6-figure year, I closed my business to find a new dream.
My boyfriend’s band was looking to grow, and they needed a manager. I stepped in. My skills sort of matched their needs. I knew how to talk to people. I did it in real life as a teacher and online when I was marketing. I threw myself into music with joy. Being a band manager was a fuck ton of fun. It reminded me of the kindergarten classrooms I worked in. I spent most of my time trying to convince the guys that waking up in the morning and eating consistent meals was a healthy choice. I tried to smooth out spats and focus the band on the only thing that mattered; playing. The band broke up after the singer left, and suddenly, I wasn't a band manager anymore.
8 months ago, I found seeds for a new dream. I started writing. I wrote a few things that made others feel deeply. They made me feel deeply too. I started forming a vision; I want to fill the world with words. Beautiful words. I want to write about the people I meet. I want to share the crazy experiences I had way back then and the stories I live through now. Writing connects me with others, and I’ve always loved feeling that.
I’m curious if this stage will last. If this will form something lasting. If it won’t, I’ll bring all my skills with me. That’s the freedom in the evolution of dreams. Every experience weaves smoothly forward into the future. Dreams are like that; you start in one place and end up somewhere else. I started my life with two dreams. I hope to die with at least two hundred more.
It’s so interesting to see how different parts of your life weave into each other, and I’m personally happy you’re writing now!
Makes me think of Dean’s advice to “dream as if you’ll live forever…”
Didn’t know Moonage split. Onward and forward to you and Nate 💚